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I Want a Robot April 12, 2007

Posted by Andy in andy roth, Gadgets, marriage, robot, Technology and Gadgets.
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The Distant Future

It used to be that if a guy wanted someone to handle household chores like laundry, cooking, cleaning, and picking up a stromboli from the stromboli store, he would get himself a wife. Though often expensive and requiring attention and maintenance, this was the best solution. It was the only solution.

The problem with getting a wife, however, is that before too long you are likely to also have children. Children are wonderful of course, but they require even more work than does a wife. Not only that, much of the wife’s attention and energy goes into dealing with these children instead of getting me my stromboli.

That is why I want a robot.

Some professor at Stanford said that it was “just a matter of time” until I had a robot. I’m going to hold him to that. After taking his school’s achivement tests for years, I think they owe me.

So, what should my robot look like? Many people seem to think robots should be basically human shaped bi-peds. I feel like there are already enough bi-peds that are basically human shaped living in this house, so I think I’d want something different. I guess that makes me more of an R2D2 guy than a C3PO guy. The problem with R2D2 is, I think he would ding up the stairs if he tried to climb them, or worse if he used his jet rocket things.

So how about a robot that could hover and float around? That would work for me. I picture it being about the size of a basketball with some sort of appendages that were strong enough to carry the Costco sized bag of dog food, but delicate enough to write “Happy Birthday Andy” on my Carvel ice cream cake each year. Love me the ice cream cake.

So, robot scientists of the world, get busy. Stop wasting time reading blogs, and go invent me my robot. Meanwhile, would someone please build a restaurant that delivers delicious strombolis to Adamstown, MD?


Hard Habit To Break. April 6, 2007

Posted by Andy in andy roth, soapbox, UPS.
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Back in Middle School we would slow dance to the cheesey Chicago hit “Hard Habit To Break”. Little did I know then, that a line from that song would resonate so well with me today:

Don’t know what you’ve got until its gone, and I find out a little too late.

I like to take pictures, or to put that pretentiously, I am an aspiring photographer. A few days ago I found out that a glitch my camera has been experiencing for a while is an acknowledged defect, and would be fixed for free. On Tuesday, I visited the Brown Santa store to send the camera to authorized service center.

From the moment it left my possession, I have been jonesing to take some shots. Suddenly everything I see I want to capture, but I frustratingly cannot. Around every corner are colorful flowers, cute kittens playing with balls of string, sunsets, creatures frolicking, balloons, dancing girls, you name it. I have to believe that if I had my camera, I’d see none of these things. At least I would not notice them.

It is the same feeling I get when the power goes out and I keep flipping light switches in dark rooms thinking it will make a difference. Sometimes life is like that. I suppose I should learn to live with it. But I don’t want to.