Ode To Brown Santa November 27, 2006Posted by Andy in andy roth, Christmas, cyber monday, soapbox, UPS.
Twas the month before Christmas and all down the street
Folks were clicking online to find gifts that were neat.
To Amazon and Buy for gadgets that glean
And for clothes and home fashions I’ll try LL Bean.
To e-bay to snipe an auction or two.
Because the kids can’t tell that this stuff is not new.
For Alex some PJ’s, pink doll stuff for Ella.
For Shelley, well, I’m not going to tell ya.
I stay warm in my house while the weather is nipping.
Get some stuff for myself? Sure, why not? Save on shipping.
No buyers remorse as the days go pass
Got some good deals and did not pay for gas
Check gmail one day when I wake from my slumbers
Could it be, yes it is, hoo-ahh, tracking numbers!
And now the fun adventure begins
As I see where my boxes have their origins.
I watch as they go across this great nation.
And arrive and depart from each destination.
Then one morning, what joy could this be?
My package is out for delivery!
Later as I’m heating my mid-day meal,
Do I hear a low rumble and also a squeal?
Right as I’m turning off the oven
Brown Santa delivers some cardboard wrapped lovin.
Brown Santa Brown Santa, what joy what luck
I feel whenever I see your brown truck.
You bring me my stuff, put it right by the door.
I don’t even have to go to the store.
Back to the truck, and off down the road
To deliver more goodness that online was sold.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,