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Ode To Brown Santa November 27, 2006

Posted by Andy in andy roth, Christmas, cyber monday, soapbox, UPS.

Twas the month before Christmas and all down the street
Folks were clicking online to find gifts that were neat.

To Amazon and Buy for gadgets that glean
And for clothes and home fashions I’ll try LL Bean.

To e-bay to snipe an auction or two.
Because the kids can’t tell that this stuff is not new.

For Alex some PJ’s, pink doll stuff for Ella.
For Shelley, well, I’m not going to tell ya.

I stay warm in my house while the weather is nipping.
Get some stuff for myself? Sure, why not? Save on shipping.

No buyers remorse as the days go pass
Got some good deals and did not pay for gas

Check gmail one day when I wake from my slumbers
Could it be, yes it is, hoo-ahh, tracking numbers!

And now the fun adventure begins
As I see where my boxes have their origins.

I watch as they go across this great nation.
And arrive and depart from each destination.

Then one morning, what joy could this be?
My package is out for delivery!

Later as I’m heating my mid-day meal,
Do I hear a low rumble and also a squeal?

Right as I’m turning off the oven
Brown Santa delivers some cardboard wrapped lovin.

Brown Santa Brown Santa, what joy what luck
I feel whenever I see your brown truck.

You bring me my stuff, put it right by the door.
I don’t even have to go to the store.

Back to the truck, and off down the road
To deliver more goodness that online was sold.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”



TGI Pie Day November 17, 2006

Posted by Andy in andy roth, pie, soapbox, Thanksgiving.
1 comment so far

Thanksgiving is descending upon us like a giant Underdog float down 34th street, and this year, as in years past, I am thankful for pie. Don’t get me wrong, I like a cookie or a cake as much as the next guy, and if ice cream were never invented I’d probably weigh 20 pounds less than I do. But nothing fills that 15 minutes between the last bite of turkey and falling asleep on the couch better than a hearty slice of pie.

Other holidays have have their own associated goodies. Christmas has sugar plums and fruit cakes. Easter, Halloween and Valentines day have their respective candys. Father’s Day has its tie shaped Carvel ice cream cake (made from the same mold as Fudgie the Whale). Those are all good, and I will certainly eat my share, plus the shares of my kids if they don’t finish them or are not paying attention. But for me, the king of holiday desserts has to be pie.

So, what type of pie is my favorite? I’m glad you asked. Certainly not Shoefly pie, which I think is made from tar and dust. No way. My three favorite pies are

3. Boston Cream – how could you not like chocolate frosted pie filled with pudding?

2. Apple – call my a patriot, but give a slice of hot apple pie (the kind with a criss-cross top) and a side scoop of ice cream, and I will be your friend for life.

1. Pumpkin. Especially at Thanksgiving, its gotta be pumpkin. Hot or cold with whip cream on top, this pie takes the cake.