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On Becoming Plural July 13, 2006

Posted by Andy in andy roth, marriage, soapbox, startrek.

From 1997

Today I was updating various parts of this website, and I noticed that I was changing a lot of “I”s to “We”s, and a lot of “Me”s to “Us”s. The reason for this is because in something like 211 days I will be getting married. In some ways, the Andy that I have been will be no more as he becomes a part of the Andy-And-Shelley Collective (Resistance is futile). Don’t get me wrong, I am not sad about this. In fact, I am looking forward to it. It’s just a new way to think about life and the future. I went through a stage of life where I was dependent on my parents and others to provide and take care of me. Then, I went through a time where I was independent and I took care of myself. This next stage I see as being one of “inter-dependence” where I rely on Shelley and she relies on me. I realize that this is no earth-shattering realization and that millions of people go through this same thing. This is however not their SoapBox, it is mine, and this is what I feel like talking about.

At the same time all of this is happening, there are some things about me that will remain just me. This SoapBox, for example will not become “Andy & Shelley’s SoapBox”. You don’t have to worry about that, and not just because Shelley has no interest in being part of the SoapBox. If she does, she can have her own page for that.

Now that I have a woman, I don’t have to worry about being too geeky and making Star Trek references. If you were paying attention, in the first paragraph I made a comparison of getting married to being assimilated by the Borg. In many ways, I think this a good analogy. Certainly I refer to ourselves in the plural, just like the Borg. There are also many times when Shelley and I seem to share thoughts. Also, if for some reason we had to leave the collective, we would both be in pretty bad shape. There is one very important way however that getting married is different than being assimilated by the Borg, and it has nothing to do with traveling around in a big cubical space ship. The difference is this: We want to be married, we choose to be married, and we are thrilled and excited at the prospect. With that thought, we will sign off.



1. Jim - January 7, 2007

Great read. Very intersting site. Bear Bones is happy new year.

2. Neehal Patel - June 13, 2013

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